Women - Writing an Awesome Profile

Ladies, it’s tough getting a guy's attention online. We all know they’re going to click first on those profiles with a primary picture that reminds them of their favorite supermodel. Unfortunately, most of us over 30 don’t look like supermodels, which means the men our age are going to spend an inordinate amount of time getting rejected by gorgeous 20-somethings who are completely out of their league before they get around to reading our profiles.
     But it will happen eventually. Once they get over the fantasy that paying for a membership in an online dating service will win them a date with someone named Bundchen, most men will start looking at us normal ladies more seriously. And that’s where your profile becomes critical. So how do you get their attention?
     First of all, you need to be you. Don’t try to write a profile you think men will like. Instead, write a profile that reflects who you really are. Believe it or not, there will likely be someone out there it strikes a chord with. If you don’t like football, don’t pretend that you do. (In that case, don’t go searching for men who are obsessed with the sport, either, since that’s a recipe for disaster.) Just like us, most men, after they get over the “ooo, pretty” phase, are looking for someone who is genuine and with whom they feel a real connection.
     Leave out the negatives. Women who talk about their terrible exes are significantly less likely to get a response than those who save that conversation for offline. WAY after the first date. Or second, third, fourth... You really don’t need to share your sad stories about failed relationships unless your date brings it up. Then, you keep it short, sweet and light. Don’t talk about your health or family issues, either, unless it’s something your potential date absolutely must know. (I.e. Being wheelchair bound will affect a relationship, recovering from recent bunion surgery will not. Absolutely NO ONE needs to know you’re feeling better after that hemorrhoid procedure.)
     Keep it positive. For example: “I hate cowards,” comes across much better this way: “I love a man who is brave.” Instead of “Men who watch too many NBA games on TV suck,” try “I’m impressed by a guy who can take time out during basketball season to spend doing fun things with me.”  Okay, and if you do happen to love sports, you’ll have the best luck by saying “The Stars are my favorite NHL team. I never miss a game during hockey season,” rather than “Football fans are meatheads, bring on the NHL!”
     The majority of your profile should be about you, not about what or who you’re looking to meet. You’re most likely going to have just 500-800 words to describe yourself, so make the most of it. Tell a story. Make it interesting. Give the guys a reason to think “I have got to meet her!” Trust me, “I’m down to earth and like to cook and clean” isn’t likely to pique their interest. Unless they’re looking for a maid. Talk about your accomplishments but don’t brag. Be careful not to come across as a snob or a doormat.
     Watch out for over-used phrases and descriptions. “I love to laugh and have fun” appears in a large percentage of profiles. While it’s a safe bet, it’s also unoriginal and likely to get you passed over. Other words to avoid: “sweet,” “simple,” “grounded,” “housewife.” Translated: boring. Unless you have no pictures or need to explain something based on frequent feedback, you don’t need to talk about your physical appearance. Saying “I’m an attractive blond” is kind of silly when you’ve posted photos that confirm or deny that.  It is also futile to say “people tell me I’m pretty.” Definitely avoid talking about cup sizes, surgical enhancements or physical flaws as well.
     No bragging.  Men really hate to hear about how many other men are interested in you. While you may think it makes you sound desirable, it really just makes you sound conceited, so leave it out. “I get hit on all the time in bars” is a big turn off. (It should never come up in conversation, either, whether written or in person.) Sharing how you dated the defensive line of the local pro football team isn’t going to buy you any points, either.
     Finally, make sure your spelling and grammar are correct.  Don’t speak in “text” language, with the exception of using LOL, ROFL, or LMAO. (For some reason, those text phrases seem to increase responses.)  If you’re going to use an emoticon in your profile, go with “;-)” or “:-P.” The two-character emoticon tends to reduce response rates according to recent studies. Excessive use of emoticons will also turn men away. Try to keep it to one or two so you don’t look like you’re constantly laughing at your own jokes.
     Of course, you should talk a LITTLE bit about who you’re looking to meet. Avoid being too specific as it will cause many men you might actually like to rule themselves out. Here you also want to be original and maybe a little bit funny if that’s your nature. “Looking to meet a stable, loving, Christian man who wants a family” is extremely over-used. I once started a profile with “Seeking underwear model who is intelligent but dumber than me” and got tons of responses because it made it obvious I have a sense of humor. (Don’t steal this – it’s MINE!) If you’ve written a good profile, most men will be smart enough to figure out what’s important to you and whether or not they’re a possible match before they ever get to the couple of lines about who you’d like to meet. Oh, and stating what’s a no-go will probably backfire. I said “no cowboys” in my profile and immediately nearly every guy in a 10-gallon hat within a hundred miles messaged me about how they were different from other cowboys, or were country but not redneck. (I really just can’t stand country music, cowboy attire and pick-up trucks, so it didn’t really matter to me – I’m not dating a cowboy…EVER.) I digress. Again, just keep it positive, not too specific, but focus on basic must haves: educated (or not), likes to travel or prefers to stay home, funny vs. serious, superhero or villain. Give them an idea, but also give them a chance.

Tip: If you do happen to be supermodel gorgeous, it really won’t matter what your profile says. Almost every man online will click “like” when he sees your picture, then invite you to dinner. In that case, it’s okay to just list who you plan to reject. No one's going to read it anyway.