The Problem with Visible Ages

The whole concept of online dating seems a bit comedic to me given it appears to encourage people of all ages and genders to pursue an unattainable and likely non-existent concept of their perfect mate, thereby undermining any chances they might have at finding true happiness with someone who is actually right for them. For women my age, online dating can be either highly entertaining or extremely frustrating, depending on your attitude and point of view. (I lean toward finding it entertaining.) Most women in their 40’s really just want to meet a man their own age, within their own level of attraction, who shares similar beliefs and attitudes. It seems most men in their 40’s just want to meet women in their 20’s who love to laugh, travel and look like supermodels. The end result for us 40-something ladies is that we get a lot of messages from men who either look like our dads or could be our sons, but little in between and almost none we’d ever really seriously consider dating outside the digital world. Men our own age simply pass us by as “too old” even if we’re younger than they are. (This assumption is based on the fact that the average 45 year-old-man’s profile says he’s looking for someone 21-35.) My personal experience has been that there are very few men who do anything beyond looking at pictures and maybe age before clicking a thumbs up or flirt button, because 99% of those I receive have absolutely zero in common with me.
     I could be wrong, but I’m thinking if you’re between 35 and 45, chances are slim you’re going to meet a man who was born in the same timeframe that’s actually interested in meeting a woman his own age via online dating, simply because he can see the numbers. I have a much better chance of meeting a man born in the same decade as me if I’m out at a bar getting hit on by men who THINK I’m 32 but are too scared to ask. Of course, the down side of that is that the 20-somethings, who are severely inexperienced when it comes to estimating people’s ages, will hit on me, too, because they assume everyone in the bar who isn’t wrinkled and sporting grey hair is 21-30.
     So, if you think online dating is your only hope for meeting someone, be prepared to look at men who are at least 10 years older than you and possibly in need of pharmaceutical aid to keep up with you, especially if you’re over 35. If you’re like me and couldn’t convince yourself to date someone so far removed from your generational culture, don’t pay that fee online. I’m certainly glad I’m not the one who wasted money on my membership. Although I guess if I were just looking to hook up with a bunch of old men and pups, I’d be set.
     If only men would take my advice: Stop looking for women who could be your children. They’re only going to take your money and ditch you for someone their own age. Dating a 23 year-old will not make you look cool but will get you questions like, “Oh, how cute. Father-daughter dinner?” You will feel much older than you are when you realize you can’t keep up with her and will likely injure yourself trying to make sure you can. Why do this to yourself when there are scores of hot single women within 5 years of your age who would love to go out with you and aren’t just looking for a Daddy Warbucks?
     So, to sum this up: Men 40-49 seek women 21-35 and filter out everyone else. Women 21-35 seek men 21-35 unless the older man shows a six-figure income. Women 40-49 seek men 40-49 but never get a response from them. Men 21-35 seek women 21-121. (They don’t care as long as they "get some" or can profit from the relationship.) Men 50-100 seek women 18-45 and get rejected unless their income is over $150,000 AND they drive a really cool car. Women 45-121 might as well say yes to the men 21-35 or get a boob job and hit the bar scene. Don’t you just love online dating?