Why No Pic is a Bad Thing

I’m a member of Match.com. Not by choice, but I am nevertheless, so I’m making the best of it by trying to take my meddling friend or family member’s financial investment in my romantic life seriously.  So yes, I spend time trying to review profiles and respond when they reach out to me. I give each and every one at least a first glance.
Except those that have posted no pictures.
     It’s not just that I’m slightly shallow when it comes to dating attractive men, but that I’m very safety-minded (most of the time). Men who join online dating services and never post a picture of themselves have something to hide, plain and simple. That means they’re not likely worth your time.  Here’s some of the reasons you should skip over them, even if they offer to send you a picture directly:
 1. They’re married or in an “exclusive” relationship. They haven’t posted any pictures in case someone they know happens upon their profile. This also means they’re not serious about finding anything more than a bit of nookie on the side. These guys will happily send you all kinds of pictures directly because they’re sure they won’t get caught that way, but they’ll never invite you to their own home and will discourage you from posting anything about them online. All of these are big red flags that this frog has some serious warts.
 2. They’ve already gone out with half the women in your town and treated them badly (stolen money, cheated on them, abandoned a child, shared an STD or just simply slept with them and disappeared). Clearly, they don’t want to be found by an angry former date.
 3. They are registered predators (sex offenders, felons, etc.) and hiding their identity. (Technically, these guys are generally not allowed to hunt for dates online and are trying to circumvent the system once again.) Of course, they may just be wanted by one or more legal entities and not yet registered anywhere. Either way, these are not guys you want to meet under any circumstance.
 4. They are in the witness protection program. I’m thinking you really don’t want to date someone who’s being hunted by a slew of angry mobsters.
 5. The most common reason: they’re ugly. Sadly enough, this shouldn’t matter, but these men feel like they need to swindle women into a date with them using their charming personality and hope you’ll get over their hideous appearance once you meet. They may even tell you that people tell them how handsome they are. (Could be true if those "people" they’re talking about are their mothers.)  Realistically, they’d have a better chance if they went ahead and posted a picture of themselves and tried to meet women within their own level of attractiveness.  Unfortunately, as we’ve already discussed, many men think paying for a membership is going to get them a date with someone who looks like a supermodel, reality be damned!
 6. They just haven’t gotten around to posting one yet. Ask them to post a picture and give them a few days to do so. If they refuse to post it online, assume something in bullets one through five is true and move along. In this age of digital photography, there is very little chance they haven’t at least taken the ubiquitous “driving my car” selfie they could use.
 7. Okay, there is the highly unlikely but slight possibility the member is a celebrity of some sort and trying to avoid the embarrassment of being caught online. I wouldn’t hold my breath for this excuse, though.
    The short of it is, people who don’t want to post a picture are generally trying to deceive their potential dates in one way or another and are a waste of your time. I personally make it clear I will not respond to people who don’t meet my critical criteria: age, employment status, marital status, non-smoking and must have photos. Then I stick to it. You should, too.