Yeah, that sucks.
So, what do you do?
A smart guy would either say something sweet and funny or nothing at all. Unfortunately, it seems a good number of the men who've joined online dating well, they're not so smart. And here's where they make the kind of mistake that gets them booted from that online dating site, no refund.
You might as well take a roll of twenties and set them on fire. At least then you could roast a few marshmallows.
Guys, why do you insist upon reacting like a two-year-old when a woman tells you no? Trust me, it doesn't make the woman feel bad. Not one bit. I got one of those knee jerk responses again today. I clicked the "no thanks" button for yet another guy who hadn't bothered reading my profile or even looking to see if we had a single interest in common before he emailed me asking to meet. Naturally, he had to get in the last word.
"Didn't like me huh. Sorry I wasn't good enough...Never know what your passing by"There was more, but I'll leave it at that. Sweetie, first of all, you didn't finish school. Your photos make it clear you like to hunt and never work out, and your writing indicates education wasn't high on your list of priorities at any point in your life. I do know what I'm passing up and your junior-high-worthy response only solidifies my decision. By the way, it's "you're" in that situation, not "your."
You see, women actually take the time to look beyond the pictures before we respond. Sure, a lot of times the picture is more than enough. You look like my grandfather? No. You look like a gang-banger? No. You look like you never work out (and I do)? No. You're naked but for a pair of sunglasses and a shot glass of tequila? Uh, definitely N-O.
Those exceptions aside, we're more emotional and cerebral when it comes to deciding whether or not we want to date a guy. We're kind enough (usually) to let you know within our profiles what will drive us to say no. That is not an invitation to explain to us why our preferences are wrong. I was first in my class and went to college on full academic scholarship. I have no desire to date someone who won't understand a word that comes out of my mouth. Get over it and find someone who doesn't care about things like vocabulary and grammatical capabilities. It matters to me.
If you don't have a job and decide to pursue a successful woman, you're more than likely going to get a no. You would know this if you did more than look at pictures before you act, but men are physical and don't seem to understand women are not. Well, not so much.
Whatever you do, take it gracefully when a lady says no. Don't lose your temper on her - that just reminds her that her initial instincts about you being an asshole were correct. Don't insult her. Don't harass her. Don't explain to her how much she'll suffer emotionally for passing you by. For Heaven's sakes, don't threaten her with physical harm or unleash written Hell on her. That might not only get you blocked but potentially arrested.
If you're really dead set on meeting that particular woman, try something novel: read her profile. See what she's interested in. Determine if you actually have any common ground before you lament yet another rejection, then contact her if you actually feel an attraction toward her beyond the fact that you like the size of her boobs. Most of the time I bet you'll find you dodged a bullet in getting that no. Timberwolf (quoted above), had he actually read my profile, would've found out I don't believe in killing animals for pleasure, I detest redneck culture and am completely incapable of spending countless hours watching Nascar drivers turn left while downing cheap beer. Translated: he would've hated me, and I him. I did him a favor saying "no thanks." He was just offended the pretty girl said no and never stopped to think that maybe I did him a favor in doing so.
However, now I've blocked him and once a few other women do the same, his profile will get locked by the online dating police. He will lose his money and have no date to show for it.
Now, if he'd actually been even remotely in the universe of my type and had sent a funny, sweet or even intelligent response to my "no thanks," I might have reconsidered. Makes one wonder if some guys are only contacting women who are clearly out of their league because they want that "no."
One last word of advice, gentlemen. Pretty women are NOT attracted to unattractive men. Nor men 10 years their senior. If you're over 50 and they're not, look in your own age group. Bodies change at 50 and the only way you're getting the attention of a gorgeous twenty-something is if your house is covered in gold bricks. Women who work out are looking for equally fit men, not guys who look 5 months pregnant. And the last thing a woman wants to feel like you're choosing her over is her appearance. If you have zero in common or you're the opposite of what she described as her perfect man, she's going to assume that's why you contacted her. Of course, most of the time you guys let us know up front by initiating conversation with a "hello beautiful" or "you're pretty, want to go out?"
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